Dear Mrs L previous to your OUST ME post on my door

Thursday, November 11, 2004,7:45 PM Dear _____ [Mrs. L] I’m sure I sounded quite cavalier when we talked this afternoon. O. K. Maybe even snotty. Ugh. I hope not. Truth is, I’m more than a little scared to be at such a low point financially. It was not my intention to come across as though I really don’t care. I care very much. I’m far too straight forward, even for my own tastes, but I like to think people appreciate knowing “the real deal”. You mentioned concern about my ever being able to “make up” after being as much behind as you projected in your example. I wasn’t being cavalier, then, to say that I would be able to. It’s awkward, tho, to say what I expect, and know that you know I’m the one who’s got to back that up; not, for example Cxxxxxxx Hxxxx NPS – a large well known employer in St. [Sweetie Sweet], or J. C. Penney’s or Albertson’s. All whom I have worked for, by the way. You have only my word that I put my first husband through Law School working as a Tupperware Manager. I can show you a couple plaques I received in Real Estate. Maybe I’m projecting, but I feel it would be a lot easier for you to believe I’m going to get to the place I need to so as to be able to pay my rent if there was something or someone, other than me to back me up. I feel badly that there isn’t. I know you’re sick of hearing how much rent I’ve already paid. I don’t say that to indicate I think I should get a free ride. I say that because I feel I need something to back me up.Something solid. Something substantial. Something you know about me first hand.
This, I write, by way of apology. I don’t feel I came across the way I meant to. There’s no question I am defensive about being behind, and I am sorry. Please know I appreciate you and [Mr. Landlord] far more than I have ever demonstrated. . . . . Hopefully, very soon, I will have at least a little money coming in, and, at that point I will begin the process of paying some of the back. I believe, and truly do hope, that I have been honorable these last six plus years, in paying my rent. I intend to be honorable about whatever decision you make. Thank you. Sincerely, KAL